Friday, 18 February 2011

Could I survive without my wife?

I wonder what you thought when you read this title?

Is he stupid?
Why open that can of worms?
Has he got a death wish?
Is the bath big enough for him to sleep in tonight?

There are many other questions that may question the state of my mental health.

Anyway, the short answer to that question is...

My life would go on.

I am not talking about death or divorce or any particular circumstance like that. I am just asking the question would I survive without Dee being in my life.
Of course I would. BUT, (you knew there had to be a BUT didn't you) I don't want to just survive.

For those of you that have had the privilege of meeting and knowing my wife you will know that there is something special about her.
She doesn't help me survive, she helps me flourish and grow.
She supports and encourages me.
She challenges and comforts me.
She helps me.
In Genesis 2 God declares that it is not good for man to be alone so He creates a helper, a supporter, someone who furthers him. The Hebrew word used is the same word that is generally used in the way God helps us, for example:
Psalm 121:1-2
1 I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? 2 My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.

I don't know if this challenges your thinking in terms of the biblical view of women.
It should.
For us men, do we allow the women in our lives to be our helper or do we feel we are self-sufficient? If we are feel we are ok by ourselves then we are not being all God intended us to be.
For my women readers, are you helping the men in your life? Helping them become all they can be?

Living biblically can be challenging and may go against political correctness but we have been called to be people of the Book and live in the pattern set for us by God.
I don't want to survive, I want to live life to the full. Part of the way of doing that is to live how we were designed to live.

As a husband, Christ has shown me the model of how I relate to and treat my wife. He said that I have to love my wife as He loves His church. How? By building her so strong that the very gates of hell cannot withstand her. By loving her enough to lay down my life for her.

So why on earth would I want to live without her!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad


  1. So you expect Dee to play a support role? is she not a human being in her own right?

  2. Pastor Jon,
    Should the young men of the church be activly looking for a wife or should we simply trust in god that one day, either in our normal lives or in Church one day we will stumble accros her and it will work from there. I do understand and respect your point of view, though I do agree to an extent with the above comment. Many thanks


  3. Why do people hide behind anonymous when they write a comment? As regards the blog they obviously had glasses which had bias written on them. Stephen Cook

  4. An anonymous personal question is ok but not an anonymous comment. A timely blog for all our young men and women.

  5. This is a fantastic blog and clearly shows you love and support you wife, and i don't understand how you could get the idea anon that dee is not a person in her own write. The blog puts the view across they are in partnership and need each other.
    I quite like the idea of a man holding me so strong even the gates of hell can not withstand!

    Jess GLover

  6. Jon, thank you for writing this. What a great example to show the true biblical meaning of marriage. I absolutely love being a wife and am very blessed to have a husband who is amazing at his role so I can fulfill my role too :) It's so sad that our nation and much of the world has such a distorted view of the truth. I will be an advocate for marriage always - it works!

    Rachael Thomas

  7. great blog jon!


  8. Great blog Jon, I think person aplly it can apply to those who are considering relationships in the future too. It shows the kind if characteristics that we are looking for in a possible future wife. That we the support of others.
    Andrew Gallagher

  9. In response to the anonymous post (1):

    In todays world we tend to allude to the politically correct view, the perceived ideal that the roles of men and women are the same. They are not! When a plant grows and blooms, the stem is strong and the main support, but the roots and the flowers and the buds all play equally important roles even though they differ.
    Pastors Jon and Dee are the epitome of how to build a strong equally yoked partnership. In addition to this, the many female preachers who have stepped on platform in the church I think would do this thoery justice!

    Hope this helps your concerns

    Anonymous. . . .

    Not really :D


  10. This has really challenged me in my thinking towards women and how as Men we can support and love them.
    I'm sure this has challenged some of the women as well.

  11. This is a good blog from which all married couples could learn something from but should not detract from the fact that single people can also lead complete and fulfilled lives. Also the significant "other" for some people may be someone of the same sex if this is their God given orientation.

  12. Just in reply to the previous comment... The bible clearly states that 'same sex' relationships isn't something that God wants for our life, therefore its not a "God given orientation".
    God had Adam a wife for a reason - Men and Women when together complete each other...
    They are designed / made different / love different / think different / see things different.
    You may have heard this before... Adam and Eve = not Adam and Steve.

    Remember this - God loves everyone regardless of their sexual orientation. However her wants the best for us and KNOWS whats best for us. Being in a same sex relationship isn't what God wants and it clearly states that in the bible.

  13. Good blog John. When I think of the love for my wife and the support she gives me, I know God is blessing us :) We are each ready and willing to make personal sacrifices to support each other. Men support women in their roles. Women support men in their roles.

    @ anon - this doesn't mean gender stereotyping or patriarchal dominance of little women. Love is equality.

    @ dochuwell - Please quote the Bible where it 'clearly' states this.

  14. In reply to Karl MB

    Leviticus 18:22 - "Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable." (NIV)

  15. Yup.

    I went straight to Leviticus this morning also and discussed this with my wife.

    I'm sure you are aware Leviticus also clearly states that a woman must receive atonement by a priest on the 8th day after her menstrual cycle, and take 2 doves or 2 pigeons to the meeting tent.

    Do women who do not do this sin every month?

    The OLD TESTAMENT and the ways of the Israelites didn't seem to please Jesus entirely.

    Do you have any quotes from the New Testament? Direct from Jesus for example?

  16. In reply to Karl MB:

    I Corinthians 6:9; 10

  17. I've ordered a copy of the NIV.

    I just wanted to get a feel for what debate, argument or faith was in place to support these beliefs.

    I totally respect and value your views.



  18. Would be great to keep on the topic of the post and not get sidetracked into issues of sexuality. The Bible is actually very clear on sexuality. I will do another blog on the area of sexuality.